It’s sometimes difficult to be traditionally romantic with a lover when you are keeping your relationship a secret from a jealous wife. There are certain spouses that are just very distrusting and pretty invasive, and it can be extra difficult to show your intention to a lover with someone like that watching. That is why secrecy is imperative in all of your dealings with your lover. Be subtle and cover your tracks, and for goodness sake always remember to sign out of your email account and always have an excuse planned and practiced. Here are a few romantic gestures that are soft enough to keep hidden and not too hard to explain away if they are found out about.

#1 – Flowers

Flowers are simple, classic, and most importantly, inexpensive. If you are going out and spending a ton of money on clearly romantic gifts, any wife that checks the books at all is going to see that happen and immediately jump to a correct conclusion. Flowers are pretty, relatively inexpensive, and very easy to explain away. Flowers are good for relatives, friends, condolences, there are plenty of reasons that someone would buy flowers (Guys guide to buying flowers). Have a plan and commit to it too, you don’t want to screw up the perfect escape by screwing up about it if you were questioned directly.

#2 – Phone Calls

Do not ever use your cellular phone to call a lover. Cellphones are far too easy to track, to check activity on, and to search through when you aren’t looking. If you have a spouse that violates your privacy that drastically, it might be time to consider splitting, but in the mean time, don’t call from the mobile phone. Use a payphone or a land line that is hard to track, like a work phone. Then call your mistress and let her know that she was in you thoughts. This is perfect way to make sure that there is absolutely no way that your wife can corner you about your calls and to still chat with your mistress as often as you want to contact her.

#3 – Small Gifts

Once again, little gifts are the way to go when dealing with romantic gestures in a secret setting. They are harder to pin down monetarily and are easy to transport without suspicion. Anything from funny gifts to things that made you think of her will be well received and appreciated. You can bring out your playful side, even if the gifts aren’t super expensive or very traditional. A well placed, silly party favor is just perfect for a funny icebreaker or an inside joke, and a small gift can be just as thoughtful as a big one.

#4 – Poems

These are cheesy as heck, but they are also free. If you want to do something romantic for a lover, poetry is the oldest trick in the book, you can even do a little research here to learn how. Once again, the routes to humor and legitimate, serious romantic confessions are both options when writing a poem. The thought that goes into it and the results are what are really important when it comes to these cute, quick gifts. Make sure that the one copy you have is given to your lover and not left around for people to find and jump to conclusions with.

#5 – Coffee

Going out for coffee during the work day is perfect for a couple trying to keep everything secret. Always go to a different coffee shop each time and cycle through the ones in your area, so no one there gets to know your face too well. You can then go on dates for coffee and have fun talking and being with each other with far less of a threat hanging over you than what normally would be. If you are looking for a calm, romantic occasion, a cafe is the only traditional way to do that well.

#6 – Notes

Let her know that you are thinking of her, even if you can’t call her from your home or go out with her around your friends. It can mean a lot just to know that someone is thinking about them. Of course, this does not ever mean text or even emailing from your cellphone. It is too easy to dig through and see a record on your phone. Paper or emailing from a private account from a work computer are the safest ways to convey your feelings without bringing suspicion into it.

#7 – Confide in Them

Share what is going on in your life with them. Romance is often about openness and the ability to trust. If you can really talk to them about your day and how you’ve been and what has been happening for you in the past few days, you will really start to feel the romance grow. If you really want to start something sweet, listening to her when she chooses to confide in you is the logical next step