Do Cheaters Always Cheat?

Do-Cheaters-Always-CheatYou know the old saying “once a cheater always a cheater” but is that necessarily true? Just because there is an old saying about something doesn’t make it always the case. There is a reason why those old sayings come out though. In most cases they are confirmed throughout the ages as something that is normally found to be the case. Is it therefore true that if a person cheats on their partner once, they are more likely, or to go to the extreme, that they will always necessarily cheat again? That is a very interesting question that has many answers to it and the evidence is not all that clear cut, but it definitely sways one way for many who you ask, and many who have cheated in the past.


The More You Cheat The Easier It Gets

It is like anything else in life, once you do it once, it becomes much easier to do it again. There is a theory in the science of Psychology called cognitive dissonance. In essence it is that once someone does something that they disagree with morally, or psychologically, they almost necessarily have to justify it with changing their mind to match the action with being alright or moral. That is the case with cheating on a spouse. Most cheaters, if you ask them, hold no guilt or remorse for what they did. They not only use cognitive dissonance, but to back it up, they usually use projection which is a way to project the blame onto those around them. That is why a man or woman who is having an affair might start picking fights for no apparent reason.

There are many different reasons why people cheat. Some would say that it is never alright to cheat. If you are done with a relationship you should end it long before engaging in another. There are others who have been in addictive, or harmful relationships who have used, and justified cheating on the partner, as a means to an end to get out of a bad situation. Even that scenario, however, is a good example of cognitive dissonance. Once you have altered your position to fit your actions you are less likely to change it back. That is, once you have justified your action of cheating on your significant other you are less likely not to do it again. Since you have found a way to morally justify it within yourself, if you choose to do it again, it likewise is not morally objective.

Cheaters are more likely to cheat again. For those who have never cheated, they are more likely not to cheat. If you are with someone who either has cheated in the past, or had an affair on their former girlfriend, or spouse, that should always send up a red flag. We would all like to think that we are absolutely so irresistible and perfect for one another that cheating was inevitable. It was fate in that instance, not a morally crude and mean act, it was something that was just “in the stars” and you were helpless to overcome. The problem is that soon enough that romance that was so engaging, so loving, and thrilling and exciting will be nothing more than the relationships that they just left. Things will always die down, no new romance can sustain the magic and when it does do you think that you are still going to hold that place of irresistibility. Or do you think perhaps that they will find someone more exciting to cheat with.

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Cheaters usually find a thrill in their actions as well. They are usually addicted to the initial phase of a relationship and that is why they hop ship once it becomes “boring” or commonplace. They are unlikely to be able to let go of the thrill of a new relationship, or a sinful one either. It is the thrill that sometimes turns them on the most and something that they will be chasing again if they chased before. That is not to say that there has never been an individual who cheated or had an affair on someone in their life because it wasn’t right and found the love of their life and never cheated or left again. I am sure that it happens every once in a while, but the realistic nature of cheating is that it isn’t normally something that just happens once for people. The more you cheat, the more likely you are to find it acceptable and to do it again. It is like stealing, or any other bad behavior you engage in. Once you get away with it for the first time you are likely to repeat it again.

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