Tips For Taking Your Affair On Vacation

Tips-for-taking-your-affair-on-vacationSometimes, you just need to get away. Sometimes, you just need to get away with your mistress for a freaky weekend before you have to come back to reality. At home, she’s a secret. The allure of bringing her on a vacation with you, however, is that you don’t have to hide her from all the strangers around you. You can go to dinner with her, hold her hand, and destroy your hotel room, all without having to worry about anyone in Cancun telling your wife about what they saw. This is all assuming, of course, that you’re smart enough not to get caught. If you’re thinking of making an island getaway with your extramarital woman, you might want to look closely at these tips for taking your affair on vacation with you and not getting caught. Go Here for the top vacation spots for cheating lovers.

Have an excuse to go without your wife

For most married couples, going to Hawaii without your spouse would be an immediate red flag of infidelity or a loveless marriage. You can, however, concoct a business trip, conference, or anything that explains why you need to go to Tahiti without your wife coming along on the trip. Here is a list of annual work conventions in Hawaii. If she is accepting of the fact that you are going to go have fun for a weekend without her, then you are already over the first hump. If you don’t have a career where extravagant conferences or business trips are the norm, then find a hobby that justifies traveling. Any respectable golfer needs to take a tour of the top ten golf courses in Hawaii.

Be separate while together. You and your mistress are, by definition, not a married couple. With this in mind, there is no need to do everything together in a pair. In fact, doing so can get you caught. Anything that needs to be booked, like airline tickets or live shows, should be done separately by her. Especially if it’s Celine Dion because there is no way your wife is going to believe that. Again. Then, if your wife notices these charges on your bill, everything is just one ticket for you. Along those lines, try not to pay for her, at least not for anything expensive. If your wife sees that you dropped half a grand on a single dinner, she’s going to be wondering how you drank all those expensive bottles of wine on your own. Remember, in her eyes, you’re traveling alone.

Set the scene and be prepared for question

Whatever reason you gave for going on vacation, your family is going to expect the usual post-vacation run-down when you get home. Namely, stories and pictures. If you were careful with your mistress there and didn’t take a single picture or find a single story not involving her, then you’ll be returning from an amazing trip as if you weren’t even there, and that will raise suspicion. So, take some pictures, have some tourists take video of you failing to surf or nearly-drowning while snorkeling, meet some interesting people and create some memories. Just keep the mistress out of them. Remember, having no evidence is almost as damning as having evidence. It often helps if you do something inconspicuous for your secret getaway. Actually, yes. Do that.

Do something inconspicuous for your secret getaway

It may seem plausible to you, but going to Vegas alone for a weekend will definitely raise some red flags for even the most unsuspecting wife. Sure, you could say you are going with old college buddies or something, but often piling on lies to cover up lies is much more difficult than omitting information to begin with. You can’t catch someone in a lie if they say or do nothing. So, as tempting as it is to live it up and do something crazy for your big scandalous weekend away with your mistress, it’s best to keep it low-key. Remember, low-key doesn’t have to mean “unenjoyable.” Find a beautiful Hawaiian beach or a hotel with an incredible view in a city you’ve always wanted to visit. Sip coffee outside a café in Pamplona, but maybe skip The Running of the Bulls. Or at least watch from afar.

The most important thing, fellas, is to not be imprudent. Well, not be stupid beyond taking a mistress on a vacation. But hey, you already committed to that plan, so just don’t make matters worse. Keep any evidence nonexistent or off-the-record, like pictures and money transactions, to thwart any suspicious wives, and just relax and have fun. Hell, no one says you even have to leave your hotel room if it’s got a great view. Just make sure you refuel after a few hours with some well-deserved room service.

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