How to get over Affair Guilt

How-to-get-over-Affair-GuiltYou’ve cheated on your wife, and now you’re wracked with guilt. You’re asking yourself why you did it and wondering weather or not to fess up to the affair or keep it on the DL. This just might send you nuts if you don’t know how to get passed it!

The reasons why men cheat vary, and can include; sexual dissatisfaction, boredom, neglect and communication breakdown. Whatever the reason was that you chose to do it, wont stop the guilt from slowly eating away at you. Your health and mental wellbeing can deteriorate, and if there is children involved the consequence of your actions should you fess up or be caught out are basically unbearable.

So what can make it right?

1. Forgiving yourself
There is no point running your torrid affair through your head on repeat reliving all your mistakes until you’re koo koo. You made choices, you have to live with those choices, but you need to forgive yourself, or you will end up a very twisted individual and no one will want to be around you. You made a mistake, people make mistakes. Why not make a list of all the things that you do like about yourself and focus on that.

2. Practice acceptance
You did it, you had an affair – it happened. If you don’t accept what’s done is done then you have no chance of moving forward! If you genuinely feel remorseful, accept it and try to get past it.

3. Surrender your feelings to a higher power
You don’t have to be a spiritual person to surrender yourself to the fact that its a big world and you’re one person who made a mistake. Giving yourself a chance to say there is a bigger force at play here, will do wonders and you’ll start feeling a lot better.

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4. See the balance
Getting over the guilt of having an affair helps if you can see the balance. Having balance in your life involves negatives and positive experiences. Each of those negative and positive experiences will also have negative and positive parts to both. When you have an affair there was negative and positive things that happened to you. You’re not trying to condone or justify what you did here, simply allowing yourself to see that you have caused pleasure and pain to yourself, your partner and your mistress. You may have hurt the women you love, but you have afforded yourself and your mistress pleasure and a chance to feel something you both needed that was lacking in your current relationships.

5. Learn from it
Learning from your mistakes and trying not to repeat them is always the way to go! Figuring out what you need to change about yourself or your relationship so you don’t need to cheat on your wife to get them is a great way to learn how to improve your marriage.

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